You just need to forgive (Part 1)
You Just Need to Forgive (Part 2)
Let’s just say for a moment that I can see your point about forgiveness. That’s all very well and all very logical. I’m just not sure what to do with my white-hot rage, that’s all.
This is a real problem. We humans are complex beings, capable of acts of the tenderest love and yet also the most unspeakable cruelty. James is right – this should not be (Jas 3:10).
Yet it happens. People in churches can get badly damaged, and in a way that can be very difficult to repair. The sorrow, grief, loss and anger can take life over.
Damaging the Image
Have you ever noticed the difference in degree of uncomprehending anguish between people who have suffered the loss of loved ones in a natural disaster as against those who have suffered loss at the hands of another human being? Losing a loved one to a murderer, or corrupt building code officials, or a drunk driver is far more traumatic. And the greater the intentionality behind the taking of the life, the worse it is. There is just something about one image bearer suffering at the hands of another that puts into an especially awful category. This we should bear in mind as we try and find a way back from such things as spiritual trauma and abuse.
The Hebrew Bible grapples with this. The Jewish people are not unacquainted with unjust abuse – brick-making in Egypt (Exodus 5), exile in Babylon (2 Kings 24), years long siege (Jeremiah 52). You know things are bad when people start eating their children (2 Kings 6). They are supposed to be God’s people right? Yet really bad stuff happened to them. How did they deal with all of that, how did they cope?
Laments
They wrote songs. Laments actually. There are more psalms in this category than any other. There is a whole book called Lamentations. There are laments in other books too (2 Samuel 1, and most of the prophets). Lamenting is a big part of the Bible and the ancient Hebrew culture, yet not much of a feature in the culture of Western Christianity these days, if ever.
Psalm 5 is one:
OK God. It’s me. Please listen. It’s my cry for help. I’ve figured out my exact request about this situation and I’m mailing it in early. Looking forward to your reply.
It helps me to remember that you are not thrilled about this either. You God are on record about righting wrongs. You hate it. You are dangerous to be around for anybody who wants to harm someone.
But you’re letting me in. Haven’t been in your house for a while, but let me revere you nonetheless. Show me the way God. Build me this road to your door.
Can’t seem to get these people out of my mind. Here I am, thinking of them again half way through my prayer. Ratbags! Liars! Can’t trust a thing they say. Judge ‘em God.
This is better. “Refuge” sounds nice. I could do with some of that. Won’t be singing those blues no more. Help me to remember that you want to protect and bless me. Sure hope that blessing comes my way.
The Psalmist is pouring out pain. No sugar-coating. This is exactly how the Psalmist feels. Sometimes it’s not very pretty, and that’s OK, God can handle your darkest thoughts. Pouring the pain out is part of the healing process.
Here’s a doozy:
(Psalm 137)
Captors. Tormentors. Sing us one of your songs! Don’t know why I even brought the stupid harp. Anyway I chucked it. it’s hanging from the tree now.
But. Jerusalem. There is a place of God still. Long way away right now, but I mustn’t forget it’s there or else I’ll completely lose hope.
Can you believe what our scumbag brothers did? Totally sold us out. That was the lowest act of all.
You know how I feel about that episode? It’s right there in the text. Happy is the one who… Really not pretty I know, but that should give you an idea about how I am feeling about all of this. Best I can do right now is to let someone else deal with the injustice. You really don’t want me nearby doing anything.
Many have wondered what Ps 137:9 is even doing being in the Bible. It’s not surprising Boney M didn’t record that last verse! Well it is in the Bible, and so we must try to understand why. It’s not neat and not clean and not shiny and not sweet-smelling, but then neither is real life a fair bit of the time. And God understands that. So this is an invitation to express your deepest darkest pain to him. He can handle it. And if you doing it in prayer that’s ok. Much better here than face-to-face with somebody right?
A lament is an invitation to connect with your darkest unspeakable thoughts and get them out – to God. You are not a machine with an emotional on-off switch. God knows that. So he provides this way to wrestle with the pain so that you can be made whole again. Your emotional ocean-liner will slowly turn about.
Romans 12:12 says:
What kind of crazy advice is this? It’s guidance for hard times. Suffering could be with for some time, you are going to need patience. You will need to pray – pouring our your pain, and you are going to need to hang on to hope grounded in the promises of the one who mad you. Like this, there is a chance of moving the needle.
For further study:
Psalm 3, 5–7, 13, 17, 22, 25-28, 32, 38, 39, 42, 43, 51, 54-57, 59, 61, 63, 64, 69–71, 86, 88, 102, 109, 120, 130, and 140-43
Brad E. Creech, The Dark Night of the Soul – A Walk Through the Darkest Psalm, 2022.
Andrew, I wonder why the initial author of “… and forgive us our sins as we forgive those who’ve sinned against us …” – (plus the accompanying (confusing?) “commentary” right afterwards) – forgot to elaborate on this point? Thanks for helping him out!
Love in Christ, Hannes Wachsmuth
Hans, just clarifying – Mt 6 or Lk 11?
Thank you for your message and text.
Has it ever been that the Lord brings you to the point of forgiveness where you desire the salvation of your relatives; and yet somehow you can’t trust (there’s that nagging feeling of danger)?
How about dealing with the resentment and dislike of seeing the continues destructive consequences of their actions? That really does keep me on my knees but it would be great to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you.
Hi Alice. I hear you. Pay attention to the nagging feelings- where’s that coming from you? Pull on that thread. And “praying for your enemies” is a transforming initiative that you can make. Meditate on Mt 5:43-44, Lk 6:27-36.
Thank you very much for your feedback and advice.
Yes, I am learning to pray with grace and love. And the Holy Spirit has reminded me on more than one occasion, that I am saved by grace.
I will continue to pull at that thread but I suspect it’s the fear from past childhood trauma. Jesus has healed my soul and spirit but I am not keen to go through that again.
And there’s that possibility although I am mindful that I need to move on and serve.
Psalm 18:19, 31:8 and 118:5 have been my conviction and I would like to use that to help others.
Take care and God continue to bless your ministry