You Just Need to Forgive – Part 3

You just need to forgive (Part 1)

You Just Need to Forgive (Part 2)

Let’s just say for a moment that I can see your point about forgiveness. That’s all very well and all very logical. I’m just not sure what to do with my white-hot rage, that’s all.

This is a real problem. We humans are complex beings, capable of acts of the tenderest love and yet also the most unspeakable cruelty. James is right – this should not be (Jas 3:10).

Yet it happens. People in churches can get badly damaged, and in a way that can be very difficult to repair. The sorrow, grief, loss and anger can take life over.

Damaging the Image

Have you ever noticed the difference in degree of uncomprehending anguish between people who have suffered the loss of loved ones in a natural disaster as against those who have suffered loss at the hands of another human being? Losing a loved one to a murderer, or corrupt building code officials, or a drunk driver is far more traumatic. And the greater the intentionality behind the taking of the life, the worse it is. There is just something about one image bearer suffering at the hands of another that puts into an especially awful category. This we should bear in mind as we try and find a way back from such things as spiritual trauma and abuse.

The Hebrew Bible grapples with this. The Jewish people are not unacquainted with unjust abuse – brick-making in Egypt (Exodus 5), exile in Babylon (2 Kings 24), years long siege (Jeremiah 52). You know things are bad when people start eating their children (2 Kings 6).  They are supposed to be God’s people right? Yet really bad stuff happened to them. How did they deal with all of that, how did they cope?

Laments

They wrote songs. Laments actually. There are more psalms in this category than any other. There is a  whole book called Lamentations. There are laments in other books too (2 Samuel 1, and most of the prophets). Lamenting is a big part of the Bible and the ancient Hebrew culture, yet not much of a feature in the culture of Western Christianity these days, if ever.

Psalm 5 is one:

Listen to my words, LORD,
consider my lament.
Hear my cry for help,
my King and my God,
for to you I pray.
In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice;
in the morning I lay my requests before you
and wait expectantly.

OK God. It’s me. Please listen. It’s my cry for help. I’ve figured out my exact request about this situation and I’m mailing it in early. Looking forward to your reply.

For you are not a God who is pleased with wickedness;
with you, evil people are not welcome.
The arrogant cannot stand
in your presence.
You hate all who do wrong;
you destroy those who tell lies.
The bloodthirsty and deceitful
you, LORD, detest.

It helps me to remember that you are not thrilled about this either. You God are on record about righting wrongs. You hate it. You are dangerous to be around for anybody who wants to harm someone.

But I, by your great love,
can come into your house;
in reverence I bow down
toward your holy temple.
Lead me, LORD, in your righteousness
because of my enemies—
make your way straight before me.

But you’re letting me in. Haven’t been in your house for a while, but let me revere you nonetheless. Show me the way God. Build me this road to your door.

Not a word from their mouth can be trusted;
their heart is filled with malice.
Their throat is an open grave;
with their tongues they tell lies.
Declare them guilty, O God!
Let their intrigues be their downfall.
Banish them for their many sins,
for they have rebelled against you.

Can’t seem to get these people out of my mind. Here I am, thinking of them again half way through my prayer. Ratbags! Liars! Can’t trust a thing they say. Judge ‘em God.

But let all who take refuge in you be glad;
let them ever sing for joy.
Spread your protection over them,
that those who love your name may rejoice in you.
Surely, LORD, you bless the righteous;
you surround them with your favor as with a shield.

This is better. “Refuge” sounds nice. I could do with some of that. Won’t be singing those blues no more. Help me to remember that you want to protect and bless me. Sure hope that blessing comes my way.

The Psalmist is pouring out pain. No sugar-coating. This is exactly how the Psalmist feels. Sometimes it’s not very pretty, and that’s OK, God can handle your darkest thoughts. Pouring the pain out is part of the healing process.

Here’s a doozy:

(Psalm 137)

By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept
when we remembered Zion.
There on the poplars
we hung our harps,
for there our captors asked us for songs,
our tormentors demanded songs of joy;
they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”
How can we sing the songs of the LORD
while in a foreign land?

Captors. Tormentors. Sing us one of your songs! Don’t know why I even brought the stupid harp. Anyway I chucked it. it’s hanging from the tree now.

If I forget you, Jerusalem,
may my right hand forget its skill.
May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth
if I do not remember you,
if I do not consider Jerusalem
my highest joy.

But. Jerusalem. There is a place of God still. Long way away right now, but I mustn’t forget it’s there or else I’ll completely lose hope.

Remember, LORD, what the Edomites did
on the day Jerusalem fell.
“Tear it down,” they cried,
“tear it down to its foundations!”
Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction,

Can you believe what our scumbag brothers did? Totally sold us out. That was the lowest act of all.

happy is the one who repays you
according to what you have done to us.
Happy is the one who seizes your infants
and dashes them against the rocks.

You know how I feel about that episode? It’s right there in the text. Happy is the one who… Really not pretty I know, but that should give you an idea about how I am feeling about all of this. Best I can do right now is to let someone else deal with the injustice. You really don’t want me nearby doing anything.

Many have wondered what Ps 137:9 is even doing being in the Bible. It’s not surprising Boney M didn’t record that last verse! Well it is in the Bible, and so we must try to understand why. It’s not neat and not clean and not shiny and not sweet-smelling, but then neither is real life a fair bit of the time. And God understands that. So this is an invitation to express your deepest darkest pain to him. He can handle it. And if you doing it in prayer that’s ok. Much better here than face-to-face with somebody right?

A lament is an invitation to connect with your darkest unspeakable thoughts and get them out – to God. You are not a machine with an emotional on-off switch. God knows that. So he provides this way to wrestle with the pain so that you can be made whole again. Your emotional ocean-liner will slowly turn about.

Romans 12:12 says:

Rejoice in hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.

What kind of crazy advice is this? It’s guidance for hard times. Suffering could be with for some time, you are going to need patience. You will need to pray – pouring our your pain, and you are going to need to hang on to hope grounded in the promises of the one who mad you. Like this, there is a chance of moving the needle.

For further study:

Psalm 3, 5–7, 13, 17, 22, 25-28, 32, 38, 39, 42, 43, 51, 54-57, 59, 61, 63, 64, 69–71, 86, 88, 102, 109, 120, 130, and 140-43

Brad E. Creech, The Dark Night of the Soul – A Walk Through the Darkest Psalm, 2022.